Ok, so if you’re like me, there is some event, or appointment or gathering that you will attend this weekend. And, as is the case of late, the topic of bailouts, corruption and money will certainly come up. So, if you’re looking for something new and pithy to say, I thought I’d provide you with a few options. Certainly one of the below will be a hit with your crowd. Some of these are pretty funny.
 
Enjoy! And have a great weekend.
 
1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
— John Adams
 
2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
— Mark Twain
 
3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
— Mark Twain
 
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
— Winston Churchill
 
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
— George Bernard Shaw
 
6. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
— James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
 
7. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
— Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
 
8. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
— P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian
 
9. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
— Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)
 
10. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
— Ronald Reagan (1986)
 
11. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
— Will Rogers
 
12. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!
— P.J. O’Rourke
 
13. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
— Voltaire (1764)
 
14. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!
— Pericles (430 B.C.)
 
15. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
— Mark Twain (1866)
 
16. Talk is cheap…except when Congress does it.
— Anonymous
 
17. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
— Ronald Reagan
 
18. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
— Winston Churchill
 
19. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
— Mark Twain
 
 20. There is no distinctly native American criminal class…save Congress.
— Mark Twain